Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
