I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Randomize
