oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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