you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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