I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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