I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize