you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize