hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
