She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
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