And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
