I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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