..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
