I feel great
I just peed on a car
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
