yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
