I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
