too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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