I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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