I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
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