the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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