the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
