And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
