I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
