was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
