if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
