New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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