my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
