mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
