Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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