just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize