Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
