Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
