capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
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