Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
two words: eviction party
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
