I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
