problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
