Im at strip club and am horny
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
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