so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
