Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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