What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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