drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
