You're completely useless in the revolution.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
