after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
