This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
