Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
