grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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