Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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