I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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