anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
