so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
