Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
