I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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