what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
