Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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