quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
