she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
