i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
