Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
