his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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