angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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